Thursday, April 24, 2008
The Big Give…How It Changed Our Lives
We would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the wonderful people that helped us during a truly lean time in our adventure. It is so comforting knowing that there are many folks that understand exactly what we were going through and were able to either contribute to our fuel fund or share so many comforting words and continue to share during this very trying time with our family. It is very discerning when people in your life choose to kick you even harder when you are down.
It is so nice knowing that we are not alone in this situation, we have the support of many of you who understand that we are just trying to separate from the chaos. Listening to others describe some of the things that went on in their lives once they broke free from their families and the abuse as we are trying to do has been very enlightening for us. We now understand when many of you tried to explain to us that just as soon as we became healthier that they would begin to try to pull us into their chaotic lives once again, all along blaming us and not taking any responsibility for any of it. There are many other accusations that my daughter and now sister have been emailing as well as calling to say to us that have been twisted in so many directions and are just not true.
It’s not about the things they believe we said or what we believe they said…it’s not about us ever getting along with one another…we all have our issues…we all have our sides of the stories which none of us are willing to change…we all have our lies that add to the drama and help it to fester into this huge disease that will not be cured any time soon.
What it is all about is having a relationship with a little boy who has absolutely nothing to do with any of this drama. We know there could never be a reconciliation with the family or even with our daughter because even though we have forgiven them they refuse to forgive us. Without forgiveness there won’t be any resolution to this and all we continue to ask for is to have some open communication with our grandson. To be able to send him postcards, phone calls, and visits with him is what is best for him. This we know is true because we had always been such a good and loving part of his life and then just because of a misunderstanding years ago for us to be out of his life is just not normal.
We are willing to do whatever it takes to make this happen, this was along the lines of what I said two years ago to my daughter that made her think I would kidnap my grandson. This is totally not even close to the truth because even during the heat of the argument I knew that our grandson would be hurt so badly if she or us were not a part of his life.
Forgiveness is a huge part of healing, we continue to heal and look forward to paying it forward. After watching “Oprah’s Big Give” we learned something that we already knew but for some reason it took this program to open our eyes to the truth. The truth that we have so much to give and we are giving all we can every moment of our lives now. We learned that it is always about giving from right where you are and always from the heart.
“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.”