Our pass through Phoenix brought some very mixed feelings. When we got into town, I called my daughter and said, “This is mom.” She replied, “I don’t have a (BLEEPING) mother” and hung up the phone. Then there was a letter in our mailbox from my sister who is once again trying to take us yet again to court and this time trying to take our home from us. They thrive on the chaos and drama and will do anything to keep it stirring up. As for me, I have learned to let go of the past and move upward and forward. The most important thing that I can now do is to just forgive them for they are so consumed in the anger and pain that they cannot possibly know what they are doing.
How can they continue to hold onto such anger? Why won’t they just let go of the past and move forward and learn to forgive? There is nothing in this world that is worth carrying on for all this time inundated with all this revenge eating away at their souls. It is a sad day when people are unable to let go of the hurtful words that were said so long ago and choose to instead hang on to the ugliness. Just a short time ago I was just like them, wanting, actually needing the chaos in my life but now I choose to let it all go, be happy, enjoy what time I have left in this lifetime, not drudge up the past and forgive everyone including myself.
Life is definitely too short to waste any more of my valuable time trying to figure out why they do the things they do. Even though it hurts that my sister still needs to find ways to try and make my life miserable, she will continue doing just that and I will no longer be a part of it. And, it hurts the most that one moment, one very bad moment in my life a year ago I said some pretty mean things to my daughter but instead of her forgiving and moving on she needs to hurt me as she has been by not allowing me to be a part of my grandson’s life. I was there from the day he was born and for her to take that all away because of some things I said and have tried to apologize for then this too is out of my hands. I cannot change them, all I can do is change the way I perceive what they do and as I said, I forgive them and of course pray that they will find some peace in their lives soon.