Something we realized…
If we are lucky enough to live as old as one of each of our parents did, we only have 25 years left to live and that is not enough time to do all we want to do. In addition, it most certainly is not enough time to rehash all the crap that has been done to us, from us or with us. The time has come that we must learn to move forward and forget the past and that means letting go of all the things that we believe harmed us in some way.
Forgiveness is not just saying the words; true forgiveness means that there are no conditions put on the situation. True forgiveness comes from deep within the heart to where everything said and/or done is no longer controlling your actions. It means that the chaos and drama stops.
We are so surprised by our daughters reaction and really thought that time would have healed her wounds. However, speaking with her was as if she was still stuck in the past, in that moment that happened so many years ago. She chooses to continue to live within that chaos and drama we just do not live that way any longer.
Talking the situation through is something I wish we could do and if she would have said she wanted to talk this through, then we could have done that, but instead she left a message which said she did not want us in her life. She has forgiven me but will not forget the mean and awful things I said. She insisted she and Austin were better off without us and that we would never see them again.
It hurt…it hurt badly…but we have no way to contact her back…
If I could, I would tell her that I am sorry for not listening to her pain and that I wish I could make this all go away but I can’t. I don’t agree that we are better off without each other and no matter what she says, I am still her mother and I will never give up believing that one day soon she will come around and soften her heart, knowing that all mothers make mistakes, none of us are perfect.
Where we’ve been…All 48 lower…Where we are…Extensively traveling…Working and having a blast!
LIFE IS GRAND!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
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7 comments:
I am so sorry things did not work out the way you had hoped with your daughter. Time is still a great healer and perhaps one day things will be different. Until then you have chosen to go on with your life, and I applaud you. You cannot change your daughter for we all must find within ourselves the courage to change. You have found yours and I pray that someday your daughter finds her own courage.
Again, I'm so sorry. We all do things we regret. Nothing can hurt more than a child. The example she is setting for her own child will one day haunt her. The problem with words spoken is that they can't be taken back ... but they can be forgiven. I hope one day soon as a mother she will forgive whatever she needs to forgive and take a step forward for her son's sake.
I'm sorry to hear what you have been going throught and sorrow you daughter can't let it go and sit down and talk. You know as grand parents you do have rights and can be allowed to see your grand kids. Good luck you are prayers.
That is heartbreaking. If you can focus only on your daughter's positives and keep sending her love, maybe one day she will live up to that. I hope for Austin's sake, that is the case.
I am so sorry, Kimberly.
So sorry that it didn't go as you had hoped. We all wish we could change things in the past, but we can't. We can only move forward and try to atone for our mistakes in other ways. Maybe one day your daughter will change her mind, and hopefully it won't be before it's too late. It sounds like you are moving forward and living life to its fullest. Keep focused on that goal as its the only one you can control. I wish you the best...
I agree with Donna K. You have chosen to make changes in your life and hopefully someday your daughter will see the importance and value in making the necessary changes in hers enough to forgive and patch the relationship. God is the God of restoration because of His grace. This gift is free and can heal all things. I'm hopeful your family can find this restoration. Never give up...Love them anyway...
Blessings, K
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