What A Shame When Your Child Loses Their Way…

And takes your grandchild with them. We were there as grandparents from the moment he was born. During her trying moments with his daddy, we were there to help in any way we could. When things got ugly and nasty as they did during their divorce, we were there to guide them. When they needed our “babysitting” we never hesitated, even changing our plans at times just to make her life easier. When we chose a different lifestyle that would no longer allow us to be there for them 24/7, we still offered everything we could…even having him spend the summer with us at one of our jobs. When the summer wasn’t enough and she asked for more time for him to hang out with us, we rearranged our schedule to fit hers. All of these things we did because we love our grandson and only wanted to help our daughter because I know first hand just how hard it is to be a single parent. Boy, did that backfire! By doing all of this instead of making it easier on her, we apparently were controlling so after six years of not saying anything to us like that now she chooses to keep us out of their lives and claim she is very happy without us.

She claims that Austin does not even ask about us because when he did ask, she told him we were no longer a part of their lives. He is a very smart boy and I am sure he has realized the subject is off limits with his mommy. That is why many times while we were in his life, he knew he could come to his Nana and Papa to discuss things his mommy refused. Pretty deep issues as why his daddy left him and why his mommy yells all the time.

Yes, I made a big error by having an argument with my husband while our grandson was in earshot but to condemn me as if I killed someone is truly unbelievable. She claims that by her forbidding us to be part of Austin’s life is not hurting him and that he is better off without us in his life. She claims that I was more of a parent to him then a grandparent…when he spent time with us, we allowed him to be a child and just have fun and not have to be anything but himself. She claims this was us parenting him and not being grandparents, not sure how she gets that but she does. In my opinion, a grandparent loves and cares for them…spoils them…has fun with…takes them on vacation…tells them stories…helps them with life, all that we did.

She also claims that she does not talk bad about us…we hear her telling people that we are dead. If that is not talking bad about somebody, then I do not know what is. Austin hears this and thinks that his Nana and Papa are dead or even worse thinks that we abandoned him, when in fact we continue to try…only to be shut down by our daughter. She claims this is not affecting him, after we had been such an intricate part of his life.

Anger, most of time keeps us stuck in the pain…the pain of losing her grandmother, uncle to death and us to living our lives traveling has made her very bitter towards life itself. She has always taken the less then positive road in all of her choices and has always allowed others to influence her feelings. I always tried to allow her to be who she was and always prayed that she would make better choices…I taught her to be strong…to be able to survive without anyone just in case that happened to her. Somehow I taught her to be mean and vindictive as she has been to me. I take full responsibility for raising her alone since I never had anyone who stepped in as I did for her and her son. In my opinion it was a blessing but it is apparent she does not feel the same.