Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!

Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!
Traveling...Resting...Relaxing...Working...On Our Way Somewhere...Where We Land Nobody Knows...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fear Stifles Everything Good

When we allow the fear to take over and make the decisions, it is never a good choice. It is taking some time to overcome my fear of the weather; even being here in the west has not soothed this savage beast.

We talked about it yesterday and we both wondered when it all began…this obsessive behavior that I am clinging to. We now see that the first tornado in Lakeland, Florida was the changing point for me. Prior to this event, the weather channel was surveyed at times just to see what the high or low was going to be, but now it is connected to me in an obsessed and destructive manner. What makes it worse, the weather forecast changes by the hour, at times by the minute. So, I sit and anticipate the worst case scenario and if it comes then I can say “I told you so”, and when it doesn’t come I can kick myself in the butt and say, “See, all that worrying for nothing.” How and when will this all end? This I am not sure, but we know exactly when it began.

It began that day in Lakeland, I had the weather up on my computer but the storms were supposed to stay north of us, according to the forecast…well this one did not. This storm took a turn and in a moment it was on top of us…no warning! We were running for cover with NO time to spare, we barely made it to safety! It was a tornado, but not the ones you see in the movies, there was not this twirling mass coming at us, it was just cloudy, as it had been all day. This EF1 was inside the clouds and was not noticeable until the winds were smacking us in our faces as we ran for cover.

But, just like with the Indiana State Fair tragedy, the weather stations claim it was predictable. They claim there were warnings all day. To this we totally disagree. What they offered were possibilities, maybes, might happens, could happens, but nothing substantial enough for us to take any sort of cover. Ever since the Lakeland incident, I keep my focus on the weather, switching from one station to another during bad weather and it changes by the hour, sometimes by the minute. What was supposed to be a sunny, mild beautiful day turns into a severe storm approaching and then either nothing happens or it turns into the storm of the century. Then the opposite happens, a stormy day is apparent and they are predicting sunshine all day. But, these are the guys writing articles about how all this devastation could have been avoided if only people would listen to the warnings. And to them, I say, if you guys would stop sending out warnings with every single storm, we may just be more inclined to believe what you are stating at the moment.

Several more weather incidents in the next months that were just plain scary continued to push me off the deep end. During the daytime hours, I am so much better, but the night is the worst. When raindrops begin to hit our tin roof, the sound use to lull me back to sleep or make me get up and pee, either way I was good. Now, the moment those drops hit the roof, I am up out of bed turning on the computer and TV to see what we are in store for…they are hardly ever right. I fear what I can’t see and in the middle of the night, I cannot see the storm clouds and this makes me very anxious. Since there is absolutely no trust anymore in what the weather channels are predicting, it makes for some very sleepless nights.

I am doing everything in my power to let this go and begin living my life once again without all the fear of the weather. But, what was once a wonderful adventure has now turned into such a deep fear that it is hard for me to say exactly when it will stop controlling my life, but I do know that I am working very hard to get this back in some sort of order so not to continue to allow it to rule me.


Wanderin' said...

Predicting weather is a science. It's the only profession where the accuracy level can be extremely low and inaccurate. Yet job is secure and well paid.

We all have our fears whether it be closed in spaces, heights or even weather. These fears are very real. You have had more than your share of bad weather situations. It's no wonder you worry about it. Hopefully, time will heal these ..... and soon! I know you'll conquer it. You're a very strong person. My fingers are crossed for you.

Jim and Sandie said...

I, too, have a terrible fear of the weather. I don't think it's as bad as yours but I also live with the TV and computer and weather radio going. My trigger was simply moving into an RV. There is nothing safe or secure about one of them in bad weather. Thank goodness, Jim is so understanding. He knows I freak out and so he stays calm which helps me.

squawmama said...

Fear is not so good... I can understand fear but it does sometimes interfear with our lives. I hope you can find peace and gain trust in the fact that we can only stay aware and do the best we can to stay safe

smdrm said...

I understand your weather anxieties. Perhaps if you understood some of the science behind weather forecasting, it would help a little...I know it did for me. In your travels, check out free Skywarn training classes....http://skywarn.org/skywarn-training/....click on the state, and you'll get contact info to see if there is a session scheduled, usually sponsored by the NWS or an amateur radio group. You do not have to become a 'chaser', but you can become a 'spotter' if you wish. In any event, the info provided is easy to understand and helps ease some fears because you learn to read the sky and conditions and know what to watch for. Hope this helps.

Selene, NC

Kevin and Ruth said...

Fear is like pulling tomorrow's clouds over today's sunshine.


Chuck and Anneke's RV travels said...

Fear of severe weather is understandable. If it becomes a center for all activity, that is a problem.

We watch the weather and make our best judgement and move on. Since May after leaving Florida we had a tornado miss us by less than a mile in AL, then we rode out Irene in Bangor, ME after leaving VT and NH and luckily avoided the heavy flooding and damage there.

Now we are on our way west in New York having changed our plans twice to avoid flooding in southern NY and PA from Lee.

accepting weather as it is part of life, since we can cannot change it.

The Gypsy G-Mas said...

It sounds like a case of PTSD. We still have some of that from our tree incident this winter, but it has gotten better. Like you, I used to find comfort being 'safe' in my house while storms brewed outside. Now I can't help but feel a little less secure.

But it hasn't stopped us from staying in the types of campgrounds we prefer. Last week, we were in probably the windiest spot on the Oregon coast. Our campground was nestled in moss covered trees which we could watch swaying as we laid in bed. It brought back some ugly memories, but we stayed the course and ultimately feel like we won the battle.

Each day that passes makes it a little easier. We'll probably always be a little more aware of the surrounding weather, but I think that's a good thing. Hang in there...it will get better.

Four Windows with a View said...

I've never experienced the type of weather you described so I can't "walk in your shoes." But I can use my imagination based on what you wrote and I certainly understand your fear. So I have no advice for you, just the hope that you're able to move on and feel comfortable with the weather.

Doyle and Terri Johnson said...

Being Full Timers, I know well what you are experiencing, we cancelled our Events in Texas and Oklahoma last Spring because I had an unnamed dread of being hurt in the weather.
Turned out the weather was fine and I felt pretty dumb, but two years before we were nearly hit by a tornado in Oklahoma had had fist sized hail demolish our truck glass and dent our truck and fiver, it make me a bit skittish about that part of the country during the storm season...
I also have had a dread of an accident on the road, to the point of almost having panic attacks, it has gone on for nearly a year now, so I am starting to deal with it and spend a lot of time deep breathing and assuring myself it will all be OK.
I think it has much to do with our lifestyle, we are at the mercy of the elements and bad weather a bit more than "Sticks and bricks" folks, maybe not so much more so, but it seems we are more vulnerable because we have no sturdy shelter to resort to in many cases while we are mobile.
We are also more likely to be in a accident then other folks, we make a big target and we spend more hours on the road than the average commuter.
Trying to get a hold of our fears is the largest challenge we face, I don't want to resort to the false sense of security a regular home brings, so it's mind over matter and just keep rolling....
I do understand what you are experiencing though, just want to let you know you are not alone.