Trust me, I have thought long and hard about immediately deleting their calls and comments, but I find myself listening for the first few seconds, or reading the first few words. There is always that little bit of hope inside of me that maybe, just maybe this one will be the one that is either my grandson himself calling us to say he wants to see us. Or, my daughter without her anger and pain coming out in screams and nastiness as they did once again tonight. The 30+ calls continued as she needed to scream and say nasty things, blaming me for the entire argument that happened 5 years ago. Claiming she had no part and did not say anything wrong and would never apologize since it was ALL my fault. She insisted that if I really wanted to see my grandson then I would get down on my hands and knees and beg for her forgiveness and kiss her butt. This I have done over and over again but to this day have not been able to see him. I allow her to get it out of her system in hope that her anger will finally pass and she will finally see that it was a long time ago and we do not deserve to have our grandson still kept from us, but her final thing is always that we will never see her son again.
I keep a journal for my grandson from the day he was born that I had planned to give him when he was older. We have postcards from all of our many adventures that we no longer could mail since we no longer have their phone number or address but we kept them. We even kept a few of his stuffed animals that he had when he was with us, his first one he won at Disneyland and the Teddy Bear that his Boosha gave to him that sings, “You Are My Sunshine”, the song I wrote my own words that I sang to him night after night for the first 6 years of his life. and we continue to hold on to them during some of these tough moments.
She continues to make it perfectly clear that we will never be allowed to see our grandson again. She is true to her threat during that dreadful argument, the threat that we would never see our grandson again. My so-called threat as she believes I said, has not and will never come true. I have tried to explain a hundred times how I could never and would never put anyone through the pain that she continues to put us through every day of our lives without our grandson. One day this terrible choice she made will backfire and when he gets old enough to understand how hateful and angry she is towards us, he will find his way back to us. Until then, we will hurt and we will continue to write our stories in hope that someday that call will come when we can truly work through this and resolve our issues like two adults.
Where we’ve been…All 48 lower…Where we are…Extensively traveling…Working and having a blast!
LIFE IS GRAND!
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
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4 comments:
You may be blessed to be able to eventually be part of your grandson's life again, once he is old enough to learn the truth about his mother's spite and hatefulness. Your journal, cards, and his old toys will show him that you were thinking about him during the missing years. I'll bet he has good memories about the first six years, too. I like your "never give up" attitude!
This is horrible and I can't even imagine this... I feel your pain! Your gradson will connect when he gets older and you can be sure your daughter will regret all that has happened one day! Until that day stay strong and remember you can always dump on us your blogging friends. Hope your day goes better...
Travel safe
Donna
Something is unnatural about what is going on. What your daughter is doing isn't inside the norm of human behavior. Someone needs some outside help. I say this with the utmost compassion and concern.
She actually told me last night that I am the one in need of a therapist and that I bring the drama into her life. Some of the things she says is as if my sister is saying it and has said the same things to me. Unfortunately, my sister has taken over as her mother, something she has always been jealous of me for having a daughter she never had.
I try to show her as much compassion as I can but she turns everything I say around and even says that I am the one that turns it around. The bad influence she is under is apparent and all we can do is send our love and compassion out to all of them.
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