Again because I allowed my feelings and our side of the story to be written in our blog, my family has viciously sent some really nasty emails and comments. I am not sure which family member continues to do this but they all claim to be my daughter, even the phone calls saying some really bizarre things which doesn’t always sound like her. But then again, we no longer know who this woman is, she has become someone that we do not know. This person continues to call us liars, and say some really hurtful things.
This person claims I threatened to kidnap her son and that she would never see him again during an argument 6 years ago. This is not factual, what I said during a heated argument 5 years ago with my daughter after she threatened to take my grandson away from us forever. I said that I would do whatever it took to make sure that never happens. Her dysfunctional mind turned that into that I would kidnap him and no matter how much I have tried to explain, she does not hear me. I would never ever be that cruel, not like she has been to us because I know how much Austin loves his mom, but I also know how much he loves us as well and how much hurt he was going through because of the recent loss of his Boosha, my mother. I would never put him through the pain of losing his mother too, not like the pain she has put him through by losing us.
This person claims that she never speaks badly about us and that Austin remembers all the bad things we did during our argument…REALLY? We spent the first 6 years of his life, loving him, caring for him, and being the best damn grandparents on this earth and all he remembers is one moment in time when we were not on our best behavior…SERIOUSLY?
This person says that I am living in a fantasy world, that I am crazy, psycho and have to live with the consequences. Consequences for what? For having a very heated argument with my husband during a really rough time in our lives that she insisted on getting right in the middle of, which then caused her and I to have a heated argument that escalated into us not seeing our grandson for almost 5 years because of something she believes I said.
This person claims that she is waiting for an apology. I have and continue to apologize for my part in this entire situation. I have apologized for all the hurtful things that I said, but I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE for saying something that I did not say. I do apologize for saying what I said that made her believe that is what I meant, but I never ever said I would take her son away from her because through it all I have always said she was a good mother. I do not believe she has made a good choice by keeping us away from him but that was her choice. Yes, we had a choice to hire a lawyer or go to the courts and petition our grandparents rights but we did not want to force her because we hoped she would eventually come around, but 5 years…are you frigging kidding?
From the continuous nastiness of the comments, emails and calls it feels as if she is going to be angry for the rest of our lives. We continue to come to terms with this choice of hers, not something we like but something we have to live with since it is what it is!
Where we’ve been…All 48 lower…Where we are…Extensively traveling…Working and having a blast!
LIFE IS GRAND!
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6 comments:
I'm praying for you to have peace about this situation, Kimberly. You have had to deal with a lot during the past five years and it would be hard for anyone to cope with. I'm sad for you and for your grandson. Best wishes to you.
I too will keep this situation in my prayers that perhaps one day this can be resolved. Life is just sooooo short for this kind of behavior. You have gone through so much. I just can't imagine your pain through it all. Hang in there and keep praying!!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with a dysfunctional family member...that can take such emotional energy away from you living your life and enjoying it. In your heart YOU know you did the right things, that's all that matters. You can't reason with someone who is that way, and they will not get the help they need to understand the situation the way it truly is. Take care of yourself and the relationships that are healthy and that's all you can do....
What a sad situation. I can only imagine how hard it must be to not be able to see your grandchild.
Some family members can be really cruel. After my divorce both my kids and my ex's family wrote me off, saying I no longer was welcome in their lives. If I have grandchildren I wouldn't know as it has been 15 years now since my last contact with my children. It is tough to accept, but I no choice in the matter and have come to terms with it. That doesn't mean I don't think about them and what might be going on in their lives.
Everyone deals with these things in their own way, and you can only control how you respond. It it were me, I would block their e-mails and phone numbers, and if something did get through, delete immediately before listening or reading the message. Then I would get on with my life as if they were gone. Then when your grandson is 18, contact him. If you keep a journal for him with thoughts, birthday wishes, holiday wishes, tape photos into it, whatever works for you, you could give it to him then, and he will know you were thinking about him and that he was with you as much as possible, at least in your thoughts at special times. He would know you have always loved him and missed him.
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