Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!

Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!
Working at 3 Rivers Resort in Almont, Colorado until the end of August!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Still Missing Austin

In February and March there are birthdays of loved ones no longer with us and days that those loved ones left us, either by death or by just plain spite.

Time is healing the pain somewhat, and working at it daily makes it easier too. We no longer cry all the time, we just now feel numb inside. Just the other day when a couple asked if we had any kids and grandkids, we replied in such a strange manner. It came out as if they had passed and we really did not realize that it sounded like that until later when Jerry and I were discussing it. For us, it is easier to think that we will never see them again, then to continue to hope that we will and be disappointed time after time.

It is still sad when we continue to get nasty emails from my sister and her family claiming that our grandson believes that we died and that they are now taking over our roles in his and our daughter’s lives. She stated in the emails that she is now my daughter’s mother and is the only grandmother Austin will ever need. She sends us photos of them together and states how happy he is. When we look at those photos, we see the sadness in his eyes but we also hardly recognize him, after all, it has been over 5 years now and he has grown. We have been out of his life, almost as long as we were in his life.

We would also like to apologize to our readers, the many my daughter chose to contact to plead her case. We thank those who tried to help, but we now know that our relationship is beyond repair and we will never see them again. She continues to make that perfectly clear, as well as other family members.

We have finally come to terms with that, or quite possibly, we have now put on our gear for self-preservation. The pain is too deep and we finally realize that we have lost our grandson, he is no longer the 6-year-old bright, spirited little man who was so smart and who knew how much he was loved by us. The photos that are sent to us are of a sad, young man who is angry all the time because the grown ups in his life could not act like grown-ups but instead continue to keep away a loving pair of grandparents that never meant him any harm. She took away the grandparents who loved him so much and could not be replaced by substitutes as she has been doing for the past 5 years.

How do we even begin to forgive a daughter who continues to cause us so much pain? There is no way out of this, since we cannot step back into time and she can never give us back these five lonely years without Austin. We try to move forward but they continue to poke into our lives through our websites. Again, if they do not like what we are writing, stop reading our blogs. We do not seek them out, we are trying just to live our lives with one another but they will not let go and they continue to send us comments and calls that are very mean spirited.


Carol K said...

So sorry to hear this, Kimberly. I'm praying that your pain and grief will ease with time.

pidge said...

Am praying for you and your daughter. It is not normal for your daughter to have that much hate in her heart. My feelings are with the child. Hope he will be alright.

Yunus said...

Kimberly, as you know, there is a plan that the Lord has mapped out and he will guide you as long as you listen. Keep your heart open and understand he never promised us an easy life but also will never leave us. Prayers for your family.

Donna aka Froggi said...

Keep taking the high road...karma will win out. Hugs to you and Jerry!!!!

Levonne said...

Gosh, It doesn't seem like a clean break. Is your daughter in your life or out? Sorry for your circumstance with your grandson. I know it must be lonely for you without him.

Kenny And Angela's Adventure said...

It's not right, you guy's are in our prayers.

Freely Living Life said...

Regardless of any falling outs with family members I would *never* keep my children from their Grandparents (or any family member!). This is very selfish of your daughter. To tell a child that his Grandparents are dead when they are, in fact, alive and well is mental abuse. It's disgusting and immature behavior. Her guilty conscious will continue to eat away at her and Karma will ultimately prevail. That's just how the Universe operates.

It breaks my heart to know that you cannot be with or even talk to your Grandson at this time. I'm sure it's just as confusing for him as it is for you. As he ages and is able to learn the truth I'm certain things will change. Until then, as hard as it is, please be strong and continue to hold both Austin and your daughter in your hearts.

I'm sending out an abundance of love, light and healing to you and your family. {{hugs}}