Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!

Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!
Traveling...Resting...Relaxing...Working...On Our Way Somewhere...Where We Land Nobody Knows...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Happy Birthday Daughter

So much time has slipped past us, moments we have missed, all because of some angry words that neither of us can ever take back. Sure, we can apologize but what good does that do when we choose to hold on to them and continuously replay them in our minds?

Am I still upset with her? Absolutely, she has taken away precious time that we could never rekindle, moments that can never be replaced. I was not upset at first because I honestly thought she would let this go after a few weeks, possibly a few short months, but instead she allowed it to go on for years now and that is when I began to feel angry with her. At first, I apologized every chance I could but she wouldn’t accept it, she wouldn’t even talk to me. So then I let go and didn’t try to call her since the calls were always answered with so much hateful and despicable words that I could no longer allow myself to be open for them. Then I began to feel betrayed, there was nothing so wrong that I did that should make her push me out of her life but she made her choice and I needed to let go and move forward with my own life.

Time does not always heal everything…sometimes…time just makes things worse when you think about all that you have missed and can never get back. But, I have finally come to a place in my life that I understand why she has done this…she needs to find herself and does not want me in her life. It has never been my choice but because it is hers, I have had to learn to deal with it and go on with my life. Another lesson learned, I cannot change anyone, I can only change myself.

Finally, after all this time, I do not cry every time I think or speak about my daughter and grandson, instead I smile when I remember all the happy moments we shared and very thankful for all the time we did have with one another.

Happy Birthday Chrissy! May your life always be filled with love and may all your dreams come true.

The last photo I have of us, taken back in 2006!


Jaimie Hall-Bruzenak said...

It is sad that your daughter is unable to forgive or forget. She is hurting your grandson most of all. Is he the one I met when you were working at Kaibab? However, you accepting her the way she is and where she is at may, in time, be what she needs to move beyond it.


Kimberly and Jerry Peterson said...

Yes, that is the grandson you met...the only one we have! Thank you for your kind words, we are learning that it is what it is and we can only change ourselves.