Full Circle

With our plan to work at Ruby’s Inn in Bryce Canyon this summer our traveling lifestyle will come full circle.  We are also looking at it as starting over, a new beginning.  It seems because we have all the past 10 years of experiences, many that have been frightening has left us almost fearful of this lifestyle and we need to somehow turn that around.

Reading newbies comments lately has opened our eyes.  Many of them are excited to the new experiences, some scared but always excited and we want to feel that way again.  We have allowed fear to dictate what we do and that fear has taken over our decisions, instead of trusting in the here and now and allowing things to happen at this moment and not as we think it may happen from past experiences.

That is never been clearer than at this moment…we are SO ready to head out of the desert and if it were our decision we would have left last week.  The sweltering heat, the almost constant wind, and the always layering of dust everywhere has made this a difficult time for my allergies.  I have been taking antihistamines every night for weeks now just so I can catch my breath and since I didn’t buy the non-drowsy ones I feel like a zombie most of the time.  The past few nights have been rough since the air conditioner affects my allergies tremendously and we try hard not to sleep with it on but when it is still 85 at midnight and only cools down to 70 by the time we wake it makes it rough not to have it on.

Also the heat is affecting business so the hours we thought we would get are non-existent but we feel we need to fulfill our commitment which is probably still a good thing.  But cannot help but think is it always about doing what you HAVE to do even when what is best for us is not that?  When it ends up being a one-sided opportunity and totally difficult experience for us, shouldn’t we be able to stop it before it gets any worse?  So why is it not our decision?  Because we listen to our minds and not following our hearts desires, this has been an issue over and over again, one day we will get it right.

One day we will understand that we are destined for a bountiful life in which we are able to make decisions for what is best for us and not because of our fears or financial situation at the time.  One day we will know what it is like to want to do something or have something and not have to check the bank account or the weather forecast or our fear of the unknown.  Instead we will be able to follow our hearts and do all the things and have all the things we have been waiting our entire lives to be able to achieve.  Life is about being the best that you can be in every situation, so for now we are being the best financially challenged couple we can be and when we learn more, we will have more.

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