Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!

Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!
Working at 3 Rivers Resort in Almont, Colorado until the end of August!

Sunday, September 09, 2012

Still Learning

Be content with what you have and enjoy the way things are because it can all change in an instant.  ~ Kimberly ~

I just came off a week vacation from the land of “poor me” or a “wah wah wah” attitude.  It is not a fun place to visit, but am certainly happy that we no longer live there permanently.  I finally paid attention a few days ago when my body ached worse than it ever has before and my mind was angry and afraid of every little bump in the dark.  I decided it was time to get over feeling sorry for myself and get back into living our lives the best we can with what we have and stop looking at what we do not have.

On my vacation, I gawked at others newer and nicer rigs and wished we had them.  Everything about their things, I wanted. Their vehicles, their jewelry, their hair, their clothes, their smiles…you get the picture.

Also, in this land I constantly wondered how others see us…

Do they see us as worthless as I was seeing myself?

Do they think we have nothing, as I was thinking we had?

Do they look at us as we are unworthy of good things, as I was looking in the mirror and seeing?

The thoughts that had been creeping back into my thoughts were devastating and it began to get the best of me.  There was a time in my life when that was normal for me, but now I know it is an old pattern that needs to be worked through so that I can begin living my life to the fullest once again.

I was angry at myself for not finishing my books and publishing them.  I was angry for not publishing my photo ideas, my greeting cards ideas and my songs I have written.  At the same time it was easier for me to not fulfill these dreams because if I did and I became a successful creator of those things then my inner voice would not match up with who I was becoming.  Struggling with a big difference in my inner thoughts and who showed in the outer world has always been an issue that I attempt over and over to balance but never quite making it fit properly.

I have learned if I want what others have, I have to believe I deserve them and also understand that I will never have what others have because I have not lived their lives.  To have exactly what others have would mean I would have to have lived their lives the way they have done.  I choose not to go there, instead I chose to get back into meditating and living our lives truer to who we are and stop worrying about what others think or say about us.  We are who we are…take us the way we are or just leave us alone and we will continue to be happier than we have ever been before. 

Learning to stop trying to be somebody or something else than what and who we are from the inside is not always an easy task, but it is something that when lived I feel vibrantly alive and something I strive for as often as possible.

Life may not always give us exactly what we want, but it certainly gives us exactly what we need!


Kenny And Angela's Adventure said...

All very true.Hang in there and go live.

Paul and Marti Dahl said...

Very interesting and thoughtful post. Life is exactly what you make of it and you both are living what some people can only dream and never attain.

I am thankful for every day and grateful to have RV friends like you, you are an inspiration to us and surely many others! :c)

Donna K said...

Interesting insights - good post. Have some of those same thoughts myself from time to time. For some reason, that photo of the piano really caught my eye. Loved it. Good editing in the use of a small portion of color.

Wanderin' said...

Wow! I read every word of your blog. I think we all go through feeling sorry for ourselves at times. It may be for different reasons than others do but it's there. We all have lived different lives just as you indicated. It's because of those choices we do or don't do and we have or don't have. We haven't walked in the shoes of others. They may appear to have more but really may have less. We need to be happy for what they have and what we have too. We are all a product of our choices to a certain degree.

Loved your blog.

The Odd Essay said...

I wish I could send you the tee-shirt I'm wearing today... it says: Be Yourself... Everyone Else is Already Taken

You might be surprised and really like being you!

kcgaz said...

Isn't it amazing how much time and focus we put on things rather than living our lives. Thanks for your honesty in sharing what many of us live with each day!

Teri said...

Your quote at the top of today's page is very true, Life can and does change in a instant. I hope you are feeling better. I found out that the managers here at Mesa Verde make a lot more than me (and I am just as qualified or more qualified than they are) but I really don't want the stress of being a manager, so I am happy with what I have and what I am doing.

Texas Yellow Rose said...

You guys, you are so special . . . I hope you can continue on an upbeat path, knowing that you ARE special and that all those shiny things are just that - things. It's tough sometimes (I'm such a techno-junkie) but when push comes to shove, it's the people and the experiences - both internal and external - that really count in our lives. Warm hugs and much affection to you both!

TexCyn said...

A very thought provoking post. I'm glad you posted what you did today. I think many of us hold ourselves back. I think we kind of know we are, but are afraid of the failure or the success of moving on. Maybe we all need to give ourselves a collective kick in our southern' sides & get going with our dreams & goals!
Love the clouds & the piano. The photography is very nice.

The Bright's said...

I havent been posting regularly to our blog or reading blogs much lately. But I posted a couple days ago, and this morning I was purposely looking for your blog in my sidebar to see where you two were and what you were doing... because I think it is so awesome that you two live this RV life like you do. It takes courage to live your dream, even if it doesnt come handed to you. You two have determination to do what you have to do to live the way you want. That is awesome. We are having to search for ways to make money as well, so we dont have to give this life up and go back to "normal people" life.
Hang in there (I know you will) and publish that book! We are struggling with that as well... we both started books but havent finished them. We need determination!

Janice L Evans said...

OH Goodness. . .I just love it when someone "keeps it real!"

It's so easy to hear others stories or read their blogs. . .and think, oh, their lives are just so peachy keen. . .but we ALL have our issues. . .thank you for sharing!

I read a book years ago by Barbara Winters titled, You Can Make a Living, Without Having a Job

It has been my motivation many, many times to keep going. . .keep trying. . .never give up. . .

Check out this website that was spawned from the book by another author. . .when I'm in a funk, she can always get me going again. .


and one more. . .


I most often suffer from the "Imposter Syndrome" as in, who do you think you are, telling other people how to do stuff. . .really?

You go girl. . .I would love to hear more about how you got yourself over this hurdle. . .and what the next race will be!

Onward and Upward,