Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!

Where We've Been (46 out of 50 States)...Where We Are!
Working at 3 Rivers Resort in Almont, Colorado until the end of August!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Being a Mother Has Not Been an Easy Road For Me

Becoming a mother while I was still a child myself and being a single parent was not the way I had planned to have motherhood happen in my life but I accepted the challenge and moved forward.

Yes, I made mistakes, too many to even begin to name them all. I wasn’t always there for her because I was also growing up with her and learning on the way. Loving her unconditionally was never easy for me since I wanted to make sure she did not go through the pain I had gone through but by not accepting her for who she was and constantly trying to change her into who I wanted her to be was the worst mistake. I still have problems loving someone unconditionally but everyday I grow more and learn even more. I may never have the chance to see if I ever could love her unconditionally again and maybe that is for the better because I may just fail again and another separation would once again happen and I am sure that is something my heart could not take.

Life never gives you circumstances that you are unable to deal with, it may seem at first that you will never heal but eventually with plenty of meditation, prayers and perseverance, you always come out the other side wiser and so much more advanced then you ever felt possible. That is if you allow that circumstance to teach you and help you grow.

This is my Mom, she is now only here spiritually for me but it feels so good knowing she is at my side every moment of my day nudging me into being the best possible person I can be.

1 comment:

Leah said...

I'm so sorry it's been a hard road for you. I Hope you are able to reconcile with her someday. In the meantime I'm sending hugs and love. :-)