Birthday Breakdown

Being out here and having to find work all the time that fits into our schedule is not always easy, but then again, neither was the stationary lifestyle for us. We have our good and bad times, we have written before that there are times when we are riding the gravy train and then other times we are barely scraping by. Our plans fell through for the work we had planned here in Phoenix because our Jeep died which started an avalanche of feelings that we began sinking into this “poor us” attitude. Not very appealing at all but it is what it is.

We gave ourselves permission to break down and cry. It was my birthday and for over two years now our days are spent without our daughter and grandson…not even a phone call because she is still carrying a grudge for an argument that happened so long ago…she has chosen never to accept my apology and this is out of my control so I have put it into God‘s hands and he is taking his sweet time in doing anything about it. Then to make things worse…we are out of food…out of cash…and almost out of hope. We had a prospect to buy our Jeep, which we need to sell, and when that fell through…we lost it.

But this time instead of giving ourselves the positive approach that we usually give ourselves…we chose to allow ourselves to wallow in our self-pity and we threw a pity party for ourselves all day long. We cried…we spewed…we cursed…we laughed…and that is how it went for most of the day. Went to sleep without any hope…any dreams…any belief…just pain…but we awoke as we usually do with an attitude of a brand new day! Things always have a way of working out and we know this too shall pass!