Annoyances Along the Way

For the past few days I have been doing a lot of whining, the wind has been awful and still continues to come and go but at least now there are intervals of none.  It began at 5pm on Saturday and did not stop until sometime late Monday evening.  We (I) finally got a good night’s after two very long and sleepless nights.  I say we but it was me who was not sleeping, Jerry can sleep through anything and he would if it wasn’t for me getting up and either having the TV on or the watching the weather warnings when we are back east where the really wicked stuff happens.  Here for the past few nights we have had some pretty wicked wind, lots of it and pretty strong for my taste so I kept the TV on to avoid hearing the gusts but we still feel them.  For some reason I feel safer up, instead of in bed where all of the sudden it wakes me from a sound sleep.  I worry about the wind blowing us over, or blowing us apart, or blowing something into us.  What ever happened to the days of no worries, it seems they are gone and I truly want them back.  I need to find my Hakuna Matata place in life again.

We still have about a month left here and I continue to get annoyed over such trivial things.  The plan was to open our windows for the first time since Saturday and dust off the inside and the outside but then the wind started to blow again and I find myself once again doing some stinking thinking.  I don’t want to be here anyway, I would rather be traveling and doing other things in different areas but life has put us here and I have to just suck it up…

Things had not worked out as we planned last year and so far this year we are not where we want to be either but we need to get back up and just enjoy what we have and STOP whining about what we don’t have.  This is getting harder every time our life takes another turn in the opposite direction of our dreams.

The dream was to be working out west full time for Scootaround by now and that is no longer even a blip on our radar.  Another part of the plan was to find some work to supplement our time here and to keep me busy but that has fallen flat.  I am not sure how others find legitimate online work that can be done from home but for me it has been unsuccessful too many times and believe me it is NOT from lack of trying.  Every day from the time we were told we would not be returning to the Christmas tree lot I have been sending out my resume, testing and finding more sites to put my resume out there but NOTHING ever comes of it.  I barely get any responses, except I have noticed a huge increase of new junk emails that offer me all sorts of things I don’t need nor do I want.  I have ideas of branching out and doing other things I love from our RV but they also never quite take off in the right direction and honestly I can’t understand what I am doing so wrong while others are successful in making it happen and I can’t even get it off the ground.  The one thing I know is that I will never give up but it is also getting harder to say that and to truly believe it.

Being positive and upbeat is a huge undertaking for me lately and being negative is just not a good feeling to experience either so I continue to see the bright side since the dark side is too ugly for me to want to hold onto.  But, when do you finally say enough is enough and just give up?

We had jobs lined up working at Phoenix International Raceway and Las Vegas Motor Speedway to work the upcoming NASCAR races but we had to take this job to keep us afloat until then and now we won’t leave because these people are really great people.  We were hoping it would not work out here and we would be able to work for a short time and then do the races but our plans never seem to work out the way we plan.  How strange is that?  Wishing our plan would NOT work out so that we can go to Plan B since it was something we really enjoyed doing, instead Plan A worked out too well and now we can’t go to Plan B because we really like these people and do not want to leave them without any help and it is too late in the season for them to find anyone in the kitchen to replace Jerry.

Again, what are we doing wrong?  How hard can it be to find work that allows us to travel continuously, to be able to pay the bills with what we make and to have it be a fun job that we enjoy?  Apparently, pretty hard for us since we have been searching for over 10 years now and are no further in finding it then we were back then.  The only thing we now know are the things that do not work for us, we are still waiting for the things that do work for us.  

It is a brand new day and I am working hard at getting out of my “poor me pity party” attitude and get back to not taking our lives for granted, enjoying what we have, living life to the fullest and trying hard to get back to believing that it can and it will happen for us!