Since we are still attempting to regroup from our journey
across country and our schedules are a bit wacky, we are not doing much sightseeing
around here. We have taken a few bike
rides in the area and have found some good and then not so good roads to bike
on.
Something happened along the way to us living this lifestyle
that we are currently not too content with.
Somewhere in the middle of this 10 year journey we were adventurous and
we loved our lives, but now we fear…we fear the weather…we fear running out of
money…we fear we won’t find work that pays us enough to continue…we fear our
health. We need to find our way back to
those middle years that we so enjoyed our lives instead of fearing everything.
What we need to do is to live in this moment and stop
reliving the past or trying to predict the future. Today, right now is all we have and if we do
not live it to the best of our abilities then this moment will soon become a
memory, a bad memory at that.
Life doesn’t always give us what we dream and work towards,
we know this from experience. We have
worked hard to get our lives on the right path but we always seem to fall short
of how we would like it to be and instead get something that is not even close
to how we thought it would be but we continue to dream and build from that
point.
Looking at others it seems as if they live the lives we
would like to live. Not in an envious
way but in a curious way. We look at
them in hope to find the answers to help us to get closer to that dream
lifestyle we can see in our hearts but have yet to be able to bring out to make
it our reality.
Fighting the demons within is a hard path to pave and it
seems we are no closer than we were 20 years ago. We have not truly lived the life we have
wanted and we do all we can to change it but we always seem to fall flat. Even though we pick ourselves up, dust
ourselves off and get back in the race to fight another day we are getting
tired and discouraged that our lives will ever be the way we have dreamed
about.
That is when we wonder if we hold higher expectations than
we should be holding? But isn’t that how
we are supposed to get to the higher lifestyle is by first seeing it, then
believing it, and then going for it?
We are 56 years old and we are tired…tired of struggling…we
just want to be able to live an easier life where we are not constantly making
our decisions by how much money we have at that moment. We thought we had made it through that part
of our life lessons but it seems life has more for us to learn about being
broke all the time. Even if we wanted
to, we could not move on at this point and that is a feeling we do not like to
have forced on us. We think we are going
to like working here this summer and checking out all the areas that we have
dreamed about but we do not like being in the situation that we are stuck here
at this point until the work checks begin to come in weekly.
Our plan was to visit the areas during this off season time
when we are not working 40 hour weeks but we ran out of money during our trip
across country so now we are still barely getting by with what is coming
in. Once the season begins we will have
many, many more hours and the checks will be substantially higher but we will
not have the time off to visit these areas, plus the area will be much more
crowded than it is now.
We both know that it could be worse and we really shouldn’t be
whining about this little stuff because there are many others who have it so
much worse than we do but at the same time there are many others who have it so
much better than we do too! We just
would like to know how the other side of being broke lives and we would just
like to be able to live it for what is left of our lives.
We played the Maine Lottery because we have heard from a few
different folks around here that they have hit it big recently and we would
like to be one of them that can say the same.
It feels at times that hitting the lottery is the only way for us to get
out and stay out of being broke because working and traveling the way we do is
not bringing us any closer to making a comfortable living. We wonder at times how we even are able to
make it at all with the small amount that comes in but we always seem to manage
to make it work for us but the struggles are back and we want to be back on the
gravy train of our lives as we had been for the most part in the past few
years.
Okay, there was the whining and now we both know the next
step is to stop concentrating on our lack and be grateful for all the great and
wonderful things that are right in our lives.
By doing this it opens up avenues that we could not see with all the fog
in our minds but clearly we are very blessed to have each found the love of our
lives, our health with just a few aches and pains and we are so grateful for
having Maggie who holds herself together through some really trying times.
There are so many more things that we have to be thankful
for and it really feels good to be back on the path of being grateful instead
of focusing on the lack.
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